She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
of living in a world that’s…so…damn…MEAN
**Eels – My Beloved Monster

The other day I was talking to Emily’s gymnastics teacher and mentioned she had a cleft and the teacher said, “I was going to ask you about that.” This surprised me. No one has ever admitted they’d noticed a difference in Emily’s face so I just assumed (hoped) that the scars and her lip were only noticeable if you knew what to look for. I know that’s wishful thinking and I can’t help but worry about what the kids at school will say to her some day. What will she think about herself? When I look at her, I see her gorgeous little face. It breaks my heart that anyone could possibly see anything different.

I wish I could drape myself around her forever, protecting her from what’s bound to be crushing uncertainty about how she’ll fit in with the rest of the world once she knows she’s different. Maybe I’m worrying too much. I hope so.

Emily in the foam pit at gymnastics class. I was in there with her and let’s just say I was less than graceful climbing out of the damn thing.

I have nothing interesting to say, which I’m pretty sure is a good thing. Emily is about to be done with daycare for the summer. She officially starts preschool in September, but she’s been in the preschool room for the last six weeks and seems to like it, although I do get daily protests that range from, “I don’t want to go to school” to “you can’t leave me, mommy!” Of course the latter is meant specifically to torment me with unending guilt. I’d probably cave if I didn’t see how happy she was to skip away from me once we actually get to school. Plus her speech is really amazing, and I attribute that to being around other kids her age as well as to her chatty big sister who never stops talking (hmmm, wonder where she gets THAT from).

Emily’s hair continues to amaze me. A friend of mine asked me if her curls were natural and that surprised me a little. Who sets their 3-year-old’s hair in curlers? Emily inherited the curl from the Jewiest (it’s a word!) side of my family, which is pretty much ALL of my family. I have a little curl to my hair, but Emily’s red highlights are from the Irish/Polish/German side of the family which comes from her dad.